Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Pinky Ruth #69

Lay-dee's rascal hooligan boys came after me today.

I was in my room, staring at them out in the hallway They were in the hallway, staring back at me. The hooligan with the black fur rolled over on his back, showed me his belly,

and then stretched his body out as long as he could. And then, he just laid there-lookin' at me. The hooligan with the black and white fur was standing up, leaning forward with his head cocked to the side like he was listening. He had some googly eyes and they were locked on me. I don't think he moved for quite a few minutes. He didn't seem like a threat. He just seemed like a crazy fluffer while he stood there-lookin' at me.
Lay-dee said I was cute, sitting there like a big white loaf of bread. She said my front paws, curled under my belly, made me look like a super cute darlin'. Lay-dee said I was being so patient and understanding with the hooligans and she was so glad that we were starting to be friends. It was then I knew I needed to break this little Lay-dee lovefest up. I was pretty sure I did not want to be friends with the black hooligan. He came on too strong with his belly flashing. And I for sure knew that black and white hooligan was trouble in a charming, crazy bag of fur.
I started my low, guttural growl. I gave my warning. I made it clear I wouldn't stand for any of this hooligan staring at me nonsense. I kept my paws curled and stayed cute. Oh yeah, those rascal hooligans came after me today. But I, Pinky Ruth, am a strong independent lady and made them retreat. I, Pinky Ruth won that staring at each other from a respectable distance while supervised by Lay-dee battle.

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Pinky Ruth #68

When Lay-dee got home today she took one look at my room and started shaking her head from side to side.

She said to me, "Pinky Ruth! I see that your food puzzle is upside down on the other side of the room. I see that there's a trail of food all over the floor."
She said to me, "Why are 4 of your toys on the bed when they were on the floor this morning?"
Lay-dee wondered out loud, "I see that you also have some toys hidden in your closet fort........hmmmmm."
Lay-dee noticed the rocking chair blanket. She announced quietly to herself, "She definitely moved that blanket."
Lay-dee then took a long look at crinkle butterfly-all alone in the center of the room. She touched crinkle butterfly. She turned to me and asked, "Pinky Ruth....why is crinkle butterfly wet?"
Bossy, nosy Lay-dee finally demanded an explanation.
I could have said, "Well, Lay-dee, it's very hard to move my food puzzle on your carpeted floors. I did what I needed to do to make it work. I moved some of my toys to the bed because the softy Bob the Builder blanket on the bed is fun to play on. Some of my toys are in the closet because I was playing too hard and they became trapped behind those doors. As for the rocking chair blanket-it was in my way. And as for crinkle butterfly being all wet? I'd rather not discuss that."
But instead of saying all of that, I stared at Lay-dee and said nothing. Because, really, what happens when Lay-dee is gone is none of her business.

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Pinky Ruth #67

I have been enjoying some window stalking of a most confident neighborhood tabby cat, from my new second-story, suburban, window perch. I have followed their moves. I know their patterns. I have been judging this tabby as I, literally, have peered down on them from above for the last few days.

Today, this tabby parked itself under a tree across the street. It was howling. A squirrel in the tree was screaming, afraid for it's life, I suppose. The tabby kept, halfway, somewhat, threatening to climb the tree to attack. The squirrel kept screaming louder.
I was most amused, waiting to see the outcome of this standoff. It was then, to my surprise, I saw Lay-dee, in all of her glory, sprint across the street. She hissed at the tabby, "Get out of here! Go back home!" Lay-dee yelled at the squirrel, "Hold on buddy, you're gonna be ok!"
Oh Lay-dee!!
She might have ruined the most exciting part of my day or even my week! She scared that tabby cat enough that they ran out of my judging viewing zone. That silly squirrel continued to scream for way longer than was necessary. Lay-dee came back in my room and petted me in the window.
Lay-dee said, "Did you see, my Pinky Ruth darlin'? Did you see how I scared off that mean kitty cat?"

I said, "I saw how you ran across the street and ruined the only good suburban window action I've seen in the last three days."

Lay-dee said, "Oh Pinky Ruth, I love you too! I told you we could be friends!"

Saturday, August 27, 2022

Pinky Ruth #66

My Maddie has abandoned me at Lay-dee's house. Again.

I swiped my giant paw at Lay-dee when she tried to pet me. Lay-dee said, "You'd better settle yourself down missy because we have a long 10 days together and we ARE going to be friends."
Oh, Lay-dee...we shall see.
In my first 24 hours, I refused to "settle" down for the night when Lay-dee wanted me to, where Lay-dee wanted me to, and how Lay-dee wanted me to. Possibly, supposedly, maybe I disrupted the nighttime routine of Lay-dee and her two hooligan cats. Not Big Daddy though. He told Lay-dee that she should just leave me alone because I was a big girl who knew what I wanted and that I would be fine. I love Big Daddy.
Lay-dee has also "lost" me twice since Maddie left. I am very proud that I have found two new secret closet hiding places. I do enjoy hearing the panic in Lay-dee's voice, calling for me and not being able to find me.
I have also pretended to be a friendly, talkative gal when I saw some benefits. Lay-dee was so convinced that I had suddenly become fond of her that she gave me a few treats that I know Maddie would not approve of.
I go to bed when I want, I wander wherever I want to in this house and I am able to convince Lay-dee to give me treats. I'd say Big Daddy is right. I am a big girl and I do know what I want--and apparently--I know exactly how to get it.

Saturday, August 6, 2022

Pinky Ruth #65

I was kept behind a closed door while the workers made some very unpleasant noises in Lay-dee's house. After they left, I was finally allowed to explore. I was most disappointed to find out they had taken all of my plastic away. I sulked all night in the secret closet fort.

In the morning I stole some of the hooligan cats' food and peed in their litterbox to show them who was the queen. Lay-dee kept following me wherever I went, watching me constantly. Lay-dee thinks this makes her a good pet sitter. It just makes her quite annoying and very unlikeable. When Lay-dee finally went to the bathroom I was able to make my break for it.
I smelled some plastic downstairs that the workers had forgotten to take with them. It was a small piece, just barely stuck under a weight. I bit into it and pulled it out. When Lay-dee found me I was slobbering all over my delicious piece of heaven. I couldn't have been happier.
Lay-dee said, "You little stinker! I just left you for a second!"
I said, "That's right Lay-dee! You did NOT watch me constantly and that means I win!"
And then she took my plastic away.

Friday, August 5, 2022

Pinky Ruth #64

I have arrived at Lay-dee's house for a short weekend imprisonment. Maddie is not here. Big Daddy picked me up and we drove in very slow rush hour traffic listening to Bryan Adams music. I hardly complained at all. I like Big Daddy. I like it when the car moves slower. And now, everyone thinks I also like Bryan Adams.

Parts of Lay-dee's house are covered in plastic-even the floor! Maddie says my only fault is that I love to eat plastic. It's true. I do LOVE the taste of anything plastic and eagerly try to gobble it up before I am caught. But, I have been made very aware that my plastic eating addiction is not considered acceptable Pinky Ruth behavior.
So...I'm not sure what kind of sick game Lay-dee is playing! She has surrounded me with copious amounts of delicious plastic! But then she says she will watch me constantly to make sure I don't eat any of it. I don't think naive Lay-dee knows the lengths addicts will go to for a quick fix.