

I decided I would mount a protest and hunger strike since my mom Maddie has been missing for 5 days now. I wedged myself underneath Lay-dee and Big Daddy's bed. They tried to get me to go back to my own room at bedtime. (They lock me in there at night in order to protect me from their own miscreant hooligan felines.) Big Daddy used his smooth as butter pleasant voice and told me how pretty I was. I stayed put. The loud boy actually had the gall to try and nudge me out with one of his Nerf guns. I growled at him. Lay-dee tried 3 times to woo me with a tempting salmon concoction. I turned around, put my rear end in her face and stared at the wall in defiance. I WOULD NOT do as they wished.
Lay-dee finally admitted defeat and I watched as my bowl of salmon, my 3 different sized water bowls, my two favorite toys and my freshly scooped litter box were moved into the Lay-dee and Big Daddy's bedroom. They said I would sleep there that night. The minute Lay-dee got everything settled and left the room I came out from under the bed, stared at Big Daddy and watched him sprint across the room to open the door. I sauntered my way back to my bedroom, my head held high, and watched with great amusement as they hurried to bring back my bowl of salmon, my 3 different sized water bowls, my two favorite toys and my freshly scooped litter box. I heard Lay-dee sarcastically mutter under her breath, "You're such a diva." (This passive aggressive disrespect is why she will never be my favorite.) I am NOT a diva. I am a strong independent woman who does as I please. (#iownthem) I ended my protest and also my hunger strike, my point having been made, and ate the entire bowl of salmon. I then spent the rest of the night banging on the window screens with my giant right front paw trying desperately to kill the moths latched on to the outside of the screen.
Lay-dee then scratched my belly in the same exact way and I hissed at her. I LOL'd. But only on the inside. I maintained my judgy grumpy face on the outside. I did look out the windows early this morning and saw a bunny and some obnoxiously loud crows which I found vaguely interesting. Lay-dee tried to get me to come out today by bribing me with treats. I refused so she gave them to me in my snake. She also put a fan on me in case I'm too hot under the bed. Treats, a fan and never having to leave my snake. I'd call that #winning. #largeandincharge