Friday, September 10, 2010

The Jim L. Affair

It was true that Jim L. and I were getting closer. After all, I had started seeing him on a daily basis.

It was bound to happen.

I had no idea how much we had bonded, however, until I handed him my credit card on that rainy morning 3 days after school had started.

As Jim L. swiped my credit card, I pushed my driver’s license across the counter toward him. He pushed it back. “Oh, don’t worry about that.” Jim L. said with a grin. “I don’t need your ID. I know who you are.”

Jim L., employee of the month at my local Office Depot, handed my credit card and my receipt back to me. And then he handed me my new 3” binder because the history teacher said 2” was much too small. He handed me a set of binder dividers because the Spanish class was divided into 12 units-not 8. And he handed me a book cover because the math teacher “said she would charge me $150 if my book comes back with one tiny mark on it!”

In the past few days, Jim L. and I had bonded over thumb drives, black 1 ½" binders, composition books, fine point Sharpie pens, and whiteboard erasers. Jim L. told me how smart I was to have purchased my college rule notebook paper early. “I run out of that every year, no matter how much I order!” Jim L. and I had become so close that he had stopped bagging my purchases, because, as he put it, “I know you like it that way.”

As I walked away from Jim L. that morning I knew it had to end. I could no longer keep seeing him like this. I was sure that today was the day the kids would come home from school without any more demands for unexpected school supplies. I would no longer have a reason to run off to see Jim L.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning!” Jim L. called out to me as I started to walk away from the counter. In shock I turned to face him. Didn’t he know I wasn’t coming back? Didn’t he know that we were over?

I had to be honest with Jim L. “Oh no, I won’t be back. I’m done buying school supplies. Maybe I’ll see you in December when I come get paper to print my Christmas letter on.”

But Jim L. was experienced. He knew better.

Jim L. turned his head to the side, narrowed his eyes and started laughing at me. “Oh you’ll be back before then! I give you 2 weeks and you’ll be back for a report cover or a tri fold presentation board or lead for those mechanical pencils. Oh, and ink for your printer. I know you’re going to need ink. Everybody needs ink.”

I turned away from Jim L. and stomped right out of that Office Depot. I stomped through the automatic doors and headed to my car. And as I bent down to pick up those dividers that I dropped in the parking lot puddle because I didn’t have a bag to put them in, I had one annoying thought running through my head.

Dangit. Stupid ink. I knew I forgot something.

Check This Out!

The day we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived. Jane Lynch, recently of Glee fame, who is second only to Betty White in her “It Girl of the Moment” status, will star as Sam’s mom on a new episode of iCarly. I suggest you check your local Nickelodeon listings to find out when it will air in your area. (9/11/10 at 8pm for me). A very reliable news source has recently reported that the iCarly audience is made up of just as many responsible, mature adults as it is kids and teenagers. So to all you moms and dads out there: It’s ok to admit that you find it a little bit funny that Gibby is always taking his shirt off, that you laugh when Neville says, “Rue the day!” and that you’re really glad your mom isn’t like Freddy’s.


calimom said...

I love iCarly. I'm 47 and I'm "not afraid to speak of it".

I've gotten to know my Staples girl as well. I can totally relate. I hope Jim L. was at least good looking so that your trips were enjoyable!

Anonymous said...

Now that just made my day! Too funny.

Anonymous said...

Where can I buy your book? I think you live the same life as me! I did the same thing this week. Loved the blog.

Anonymous said...

I do enjoy Office Depot . . . but not 3 days in a row, oh my!