Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Bean Ball Boy

When he walked through the door, the boy had his head hung low. He tossed his baseball mitt on the closet floor and walked onto the living room carpet with his dirty cleats.

“How was your baseball game?” I asked him.

“We lost.” he told me. “I was up to bat in the bottom of the 9th. There were two outs. We were behind by one. Bases were loaded. I had a chance to tie the game and I didn’t do it.”

I began to counsel the boy on how striking out wasn’t the end of the world. It even happens to the best major leaguers.

“Oh I’m not upset about striking out.” he informed me. “That kid was pitching way too fast. He’s a 5th grader and I would have never been able to hit off of him. I was just hoping for an inside pitch. I leaned in as far as I could, hoping I would get hit. “

“What?” I cried out in surprise. “You were hoping to get hit?”

“Yeah! That was my plan. Then I would have taken first base and the guy on third would have gotten home. We would have been tied. Then the top of our batting order would have been up and I’m sure they would have been able to get one more run in. And we would have won the game. But I couldn’t manage to get hit…so we lost.”

Looking at the boy, I began to consider where and when my attempts to be a good parent had failed. Finally, I said, “Boy! It is not a good thing to get hit by a baseball. You could get hurt. And I especially don’t want you to TRY and get hit by a baseball. Just for the record, you are not allowed to get hit by a baseball. I want you to jump out of the way every single time.”

Two days later, the boy walked through the door with his head held high. He tossed his baseball mitt on the closet floor and walked onto the living room carpet with his dirty cleats.

“How was your baseball game? I asked him.

“We won!” he said with a smile on his face. “It was the greatest game ever! I got hit!”

”You mean that you got a hit?” I tried to clarify.

“No! I mean that I got hit by a pitch!” the boy answered excitedly. “Look at my elbow, mom. Doesn’t it look cool?”

The boy pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal a swollen, bulbous, bruised elbow. He cringed when he tried to bend his arm. “Man, it kind of hurts.” he muttered, still grinning with pride.

After taking a deep breath I asked the boy. “Don’t you remember me telling you that you were not allowed to try and get hit by the ball? In fact, I think I specifically told you not to get hit at all. Did you try and jump out of the way?”

“Oh, mom, I didn’t have to try to get hit this time. The other pitcher was really bad. I even tried to get out of the way like you wanted... but I still got hit. How. Lucky. Was. That."

Check This Out!

British web sensation Susan Boyle’s rendition of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables has caused the Slightly Exaggerated family to become re-obsessed with the 10th anniversary Les Miserables concert that took place at Royal Albert Hall. Available on DVD and CD and easily accessible on You Tube it is the greatest music you will ever hear in your entire life. Period.


Anonymous said...

Now that, is a boy.

Leslie said...

have you checked out the highlights from Episodes 2 and 3 of Britain's Got Talent . . . 12 year old Shaheen Jafargholi and 10 year old Hollie Steel?

Anonymous said...

Ha. Very funny. That's some crazy backwards thinking though....and so much thought was put into his crazy boy you've got there.

yankeefan3602 said...

I bow before the boy. He is a true baseball player. He was willing to take one for the team. He's earned my respect.