The degree of my recent deprivation, I can assure you, was far more than I previously thought possible. I was without my dry food for 24 HOURS! Maddie has my special kidney food delivered to our apartment and this time it did not arrive when I would have preferred it to arrive. I was left, nearly starving, to subsist on wet food alone.
I spent those miserable 24 hours making sure that Maddie and all of their neighbors would hear my desperate howls and also be as miserable as I was.
When my dry food finally arrived this morning Maddie put it in my puzzle feeder, hoping this would help me to eat it slowly. The joke was on Maddie because I wolfed down the food as fast as I could. I was starving and motivated by hunger to show that puzzle feeder who was boss. It did not take me long before I knew I was in trouble. Perhaps I misjudged my digestive capabilities.
The last thing I remember was throwing up 3 times.
Maddie tells me they watched me fall over on my side. They tell me I was completely frozen, eyes wide open, legs sticking out straight. They tell me they poked me and yelled at me to wake up, to move! They tell me they were terrified. After what seemed like a very long time, Maddie went to get their phone. When they came back they found me unfrozen, breathing heavily and trying to turn back onto my belly. I instantly spied the food I just threw up. I made a beeline for it and started eating that food again. After all, it wasn't even digested yet.
This story should end here. But Maddie had to call Lay-dee and Big Daddy and Dr. Nevill the veterinarian. Lay-dee called me a diva for throwing such a fit over my food. Lay-dee and I are no longer friends. Big Daddy was very worried about me. And despite the rumors that he likened me to a fainting goat, he is still my favorite. Dr. Nevill examined me. Dr. Nevill wasn't sure why I fainted, turned myself over, and froze for a bit. Dr. Nevill said I could have a condition where I am afraid of my throw-up like some people are when they see blood.. But I throw up all of the time so I know that isn't it. Despite my refusal to cooperate with Dr. Nevill in all aspects of the examination, they found me to be as healthy as I was the last time I was there.
For now, I declare to you all--move along. There is nothing to see here.
Signed, A perfectly healthy Pinky Ruth #foodislove #dontdenythePR #Ipreferthecrunch #maybeIdidoverreact #goatshavenothingonme
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