Thursday, May 26, 2011

I'll Take Two

The Great Salt Lake was to my right and the Wasatch Range was to my left on the day I bought my dining room table. The grinning salesman, in a fine tweed suit, said, “Of course we have tables that seat 12! This is Salt Lake City-the land of the large family!”

The salesman assured me that the table was well made, of sturdy oak, and would last more than a lifetime. The salesman assured me it was a practical choice, perfect for creating years of wonderful family memories.

“How many children do you have to sit at this big table?” the salesman asked me.

“Oh, I don’t have any kids,” I replied, “but I do have 12 place settings of china I just got for my wedding. They are going to look fantastic sitting on this pretty table.”



More than two decades later, that table continues to be just as sturdy and practical as the salesman promised. The table has held up well, despite the destructive behaviors of the children and pets the husband and I eventually acquired. The same cannot be said for my sofa. After more than 20 years of helping to create wonderful family memories, it was shredded.



Two bickering kids were on my right and a mostly disinterested husband was on my left on the day I replaced that sofa. The grinning salesman, in casual Friday apparel, said, “Of course we have a wonderful sofa for you!”

I asked the salesman if the sofa was well made, of sturdy materials, and would last more than a lifetime. I asked the salesman if the sofa was a practical choice, perfect for creating years of wonderful family memories. I implored the salesman, “Please tell me this sofa will not get shredded.”


The salesman paused and then looked me in the eye.

“No. I can’t say that.”

“What? Why? I have 3 cats, 2 kids and 1 husband! I need a sofa that will hold up for a long time.”

The salesman tilted his head to the side. His facial expression softened a bit. I think the corner of his mouth was trying not to smile.


“For goodness sakes, ma’am, I’m going to be honest with you here. You have 3 cats... 2 kids... and 1 husband...your sofa is going to get shredded.”





My new blue sofa was on my right and my other new blue sofa was on my left on the day I sat down at my sturdy dining room table. I looked from the dining room into the living room and saw those 3 cats with claws and shedding fur and those 2 kids with dirty knees and sweaty socks and that 1 husband with the open Mountain Dew bottle and greasy Carhartt jeans.

And they sure looked fantastic sitting on those pretty sofas.





Check This Out!

Always a fan of authors specializing in humorous, honest essays about every day life, I was thrilled to read Sloane Crosley's new book, How Did You Get This Number. I laughed at Ms. Crosley's first book, I Was Told There'd Be Cake. I still have a few pages left in How Did You Get This Number, but have thoroughly enjoyed what I've read so far. You should check out the link above and both of Ms. Crosley's books. You'll be happy you did.

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