Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wet Feet

The boy came home from school and immediately started complaining that his shoes had holes in them. The boy complained that his feet were wet.

This was nothing new.

The boy has a tendency to abandon all common sense and walk through puddles, and run through mud and take the least paved route to wherever he is going.

“Yes, it was wet today, wasn’t it.” I absentmindedly answered.

The boy came home from school the next day and complained that his shoes had holes in them and that his feet were wet.

“Stop walking through puddles!” I barked at him with a little more awareness and a little less empathy than I had the prior day.

The boy came home from school the next day and complained that his shoes had holes in them and that his feet were wet.

“Goodness gracious!” I cried out in nearly complete attentive frustration. “Aren’t those shoes dried out yet? You should put them in front of the fireplace to dry overnight.”

The boy dried his shoes out overnight in front of the fireplace. As he put them on the next morning I said to the boy. “Now, boy! Those shoes are dry now. Your socks are dry now. When you get home I expect both your shoes and socks to still be dry."

The boy looked at me in, obviously immersed in thought. After a minute he spoke. “Mom? Can I take a box of Kleenex and a roll of duct tape to school today?”

“Why would you need those?”

“To keep my feet dry, like you want me to. I can put the Kleenex in my shoes around my socks to keep them dry. And I’ll roll the duct tape around my shoes to cover up the holes to keep the water out.”

“Gosh darnit, boy! I swear I just bought you those shoes. I can’t imagine that you really need duct tape for your shoes.”

The boy leaned back in his chair and lifted his feet in the air. I leaned forward and for the first time, ever, and certainly the first time in the last three days, I took a look at the bottom of the boy’s shoes.

The boy went to school with his shoes and the duct tape and the Kleenex. His teacher and his friends and I’m sure, a random child welfare worker just passing by, were able to see that the boy and his feet were not properly cared for. The boy and I did go to the shoe store that very night to get him some new shoes. And later that evening, I officially withdrew my application for Mother of the Year.

Check This Out!

The Slightly Exaggerated family has now realized that lentils mixed with rice and grape tomatoes and salt and pepper makes a very nice breakfast.

We’ve realized that the composition, Pines of Rome, by Ottorino Respighi can cause the teenager to tear up, cause the boy to declare, “I feel like someone is sneaking up behind me and is getting ready to stab me in the back!”, and cause the husband and I to thoroughly enjoy a 9th grade band concert.

And we’ve realized that a nice little perennial plant, known as the Heuchera or Coral Bells, will live very happily in the shade and will make your yard look great.


Anonymous said...

My teenage boy went to school for a week, in the same jeans, with a baseball size hole in the crotch before I noticed.

He said it didn't bother him.

calimom said...

Just more proof that duct tape shall solve all of the world's problems.

doitintheshade said...

Oh, the Heuchera is to die for. I fought an elderly lady for a Marmalade one two years ago at a plant sale. It was the last one and it had my name on it. She didn't stand a chance. She had to settle for a Silver Light.