Friday, March 6, 2009

As Good as New

I’m certainly not a laundry queen.
I barely manage to get the clothes clean.
But last week my normal laundry routine
Took a very bad turn for the worse.

The squealing noise made the children annoyed.
They asked to have the dryer destroyed.
I knew that I would have to avoid
Doing laundry when they were at home.

The dryer was surely not working quite right.
But things really got nasty on last Monday night.
When I smelled that smell I thought it might ignite
And burn down the house where we lived.

I yelled to the husband, “Oh no! It’s not good!”
And I wish I could say that he understood.
But he kept on reading like I knew he would
A magazine that had come in the mail.

So I patiently waited ‘til he smelled the smell.
And I must tell you he didn’t take it so well.
He looked up from his reading and started to yell
“What the heck smells so horribly bad?”

He unplugged the dryer and complained of the fumes.
Our dryer was dead-I quickly presumed.
But the husband was not so fast to assume
That the thing would end up at the dump.

I said to the husband, “I saw one at Sears!”
I’ve been drooling at it for quite a few years!”
He muttered something about motors and gears.
I don’t think he heard me at all.

I said to the husband, “It’s gorgeous and blue!
The neighbor has bought one, last year, brand new.
She said it dries things superfast too!
I’m sure we could find one on sale.”

I then left to put the children to bed.
And when I returned I was filled with dread.
With screwdriver in hand, the husband then said
“I think I can fix this thing.”

My dryer was not in the house anymore.
The husband had hauled it out to the garage floor.
He took things apart. He began to explore.
And I began my assault.

I said to the husband, “What can you be doing?
I’m not sure I like what you are pursuing!
I really don’t want you to be screwing
With a dryer I want to be dead!”

The husband then said, “It’s a very good dryer.
We’ve done all the upkeep the manual required.
Now I realize that you have “new dryer” desire
But a new motor is all that we need.”

I said to the husband, “How much could that be?
I bet it’s expensive! I’m sure that you’ll see!
I’ll go do some research and I’m sure you’ll agree
That a new dryer just makes more sense.”

I spent the next day researching online.
The dryer I liked, that was nicer than mine
Cost a whopping big thirteen hundred and nine
And that was a whole lot too much.

So I found a dryer that dried just as good.
I gave up the blue color like I knew I should.
I gave up LED like I knew I would.
On sale it was four twenty eight.

I then searched for motors but not very hard.
To the husband’s wishes I gave little regard.
I basically acted like one big retard.
Cause I wanted a new dryer soon.

But I did find a motor and it was quite cheap.
Perhaps my dryer would not see the junk heap.
I slowly realized that I’d have to keep
The dryer I wanted to ditch.

The new motor did cost one hundred and four.
The difference in price I couldn’t ignore.
A new dryer would cost a whole lot more.
I had to face the facts.

The facts were that I had married a guy
Who wanted to fix things when they went awry.
So with a major big huff and a sad little sigh
I ordered the motor online.

My ugly white dryer that’s not pretty blue
Now acts like it did when it was brand new.
The husband has fixed it like he said he would do.
And I told him that he was “the man”.

The next morning I got up somewhere near dawn.
I put toast in the toaster ‘cuz breakfast was on.
The husband came down and let out a yawn
And asked what the heck that smell was.

The toaster was surely not working quite right.
The toast came out black which was not alright.
When I smelled that smell I thought it might ignite
And burn down the house where we lived.

I said to the husband, “Don’t worry, my dear!
I saw a super great toaster at Target last year.
And as the husband then spoke he was quite sincere
“I think I can fix this thing.”

Check This Out!

The Slightly Exaggerated family has spent this past week enjoying the Cranium card game Zigity and the movie Harlem Globetrotters: The Team That Changed the World. You'll be surprised how much fun you can have playing Zigity and you'll be surprised at the impact the Globetrotters had beyond the world of basketball.


Anonymous said...

The perfect household accessory for a down economy....Mr. Fix It. You should hire him out.

Anonymous said...

Ha. Dang husbands. Don't they know that a blue dryer is more valuable than a boring old motor that you can't even see?