Friday, October 31, 2008

'Twas the Night Before the Election

‘Twas the night before the election,
When all through the states,
All the people were stirring,
And were tired of the wait.

The candidates had sung
Their promises with care,
In hopes that the votes
Would somehow be there.

The people had wrestled
With thoughts in their heads,
While visions of doom
Multiplied and spread.

McCain is too stiff!
He’s ready to snap!
He settled for Palin
And she’s full of crap.

Obama rumors then surfaced
Fueled by internet chatter.
The anti-Christ! He’s a Muslim!
Being black might matter!

To the left or the right
People went like a flash.
They tore open their wallets
And sent in their cash.

McCain and Obama
Gathered up their dough.
While Hillary counted
How much money she owed.

McCain started pondering
When Vice Joe should appear.
But the party forced Palin
With her 5 kids standing near.

For old hostage McCain
She was an unusual choice.
For he didn’t know
This Alaskan voice.

“It’s Biden for me!”
Obama proclaimed.
"He’s got experience,
Just like McCain."

However, he worried
What Biden would say.
Those Hillary women
They still needed to sway.

To the top of the polls
The mavericks did crawl.
The Palin effect
Sure did enthrall.

But,then she saw Russia
And gave a steady supply
To Saturday Night Live
With her loony replies.

So up to the poll top
The Democrats flew.
They dumped Jeremiah
And William Ayers too.

And then in a twinkling
There was one major goof.
The foreclosure notices
Provided the proof.

As banks went in the red,
The economy unsound,
Down the stock market tumbled
Then tried to rebound.

Robo-calls started ringing.
Absurd emails were sent.
Junk mail filled each mailbox
With untrue content.

Partisan rhetoric
Was used to attack.
They made fun of George Bush
And how he went to Iraq.

The debates-how they argued!
They were both quite contrary.
Each one told the nation
The other was scary.

Then Biden’s big mouth-
It started to blow.
“Obama will be tested
That I do know!”

Then Palin went shopping.
And then she went rogue.
She said what she wanted.
And her clothes were from Vogue.

And finally Obama
Bought our TV time.
But McCain said, “Wait!
I think victory is mine!”

Now up and down go the polls
And we’re frightened and scared.
What if he wins?
He’s just not prepared!

They’ve both promised change
And we want to believe.
But this election has left us
Polarized and deceived.

We now think in extremes.
We will NEVER retire!
We think it’s “their” fault.
We think people are liars.

We now vote for our future.
But, I fear it’s too late.
Are we forever divided
Into red and blue states?

I am right! You are wrong!
Neighbor against friend.
This is no way to live.
We must start to mend.

So I’m here to exclaim
As the campaigning ends
It can’t come too soon.

Now let’s all be friends.

Check This Out!

The entire Slightly Exaggerated family has enjoyed the recent Saturday Night Live political sketches. We encourage you to check them all out. Start with this one.

Don't forget to also enjoy Oscar Rogers pleading to FIX IT!! Watch this one first.

Watch this one second.


Anonymous said...

I vote for you!

Anonymous said...

i can't believe what smart neighbors i have. i am forwarding this to everyone i know. :)
melissa for prez.