Wednesday, March 12, 2008


The husband was tired and was going to bed.
He took off his glasses and laid down his head.
He gave a quick kiss and then he said,
“I’m really not feeling that well.”

He’d been working so hard, 6 days in a row.
Now his nose was plugged and he needed to blow.
And his head was still pounding, even though
He had swallowed a couple of pills.

I sat down on the bed right next to his arm.
I asked him if he had set his alarm.
I held his hand and I spoke with such charm
And I asked him how his day was.

He opened one eye but only half way.
He looked at me and then proceeded to say,
He was actually quite tired and work was ok.
And then he closed his eye again.

I wondered how his commute had been.
I looked down at him with my super cute grin.
And I charmingly asked him a question again.
“Honey, how was traffic today?”

He did not respond right away.
And he grunted after a tiny delay.
Then he mumbled and asked, “What did you say?”
But he never opened his eyes.

I could not believe what was happening here.
I was trying to bond with the husband, my dear.
And I was starting to think, I was starting to fear,
That he was ignoring me.

But I didn’t give up, I kept on trying.
He just had the sniffles, it’s not like he was dying.
So I kept on talking because I was still vying
To get some attention for me.

But the husband was out; he was out like a light.
He was in a deep sleep for the rest of the night.
And I was not happy; this was not alright.
He obviously didn’t care.

I felt neglected; I felt so cheated.
I did not like the way I was treated.
I felt so alone; I felt so defeated.
Didn’t he love me at all?

I sulked for a minute and I then poked his side.
I coughed much too loud and obnoxiously sighed.
But it didn’t matter how hard I tried.
The husband just wouldn’t wake up.

I sat on the bed and pondered my fate.
The husband and I could no longer relate.
I thought once that he was my only soul mate.
But obviously I was wrong.

As I got up to leave and go watch TV.
I looked down at the husband and was able to see
That he was as tired as a man could be
And there would be no talking tonight.

Despite his loud snoring I gave him a kiss.
I whispered to him about what he would miss.
I told him it was really too bad that this
Was how the night had gone.

The kids were in bed; they had been very tired.
I whispered to him about what I desired.
I was feeling quite frisky and very inspired.
It was a shame he was feeling so sick.

I started to walk out of the bedroom.
I was a bit sad and filled with some gloom.
I guess it was wrong for me to assume
That the husband wasn’t really that tired.

But lo and behold! You will never believe!
A miracle happened as I was ready to leave!
Perhaps I had been a little naïve
To think miracles didn’t exist.

But with God as my witness, the husband arose.
He was back from the dead, despite his stuffed nose.
How it happened, I think, that God only knows,
But then the husband sat up in bed!

“I’m not feeling that tired or sick anymore!”
He said much more livelier than before.
And then, he practically began to implore
“Did I hear you say you were frisky?”

I said to the husband, “You were sound asleep!”
“And I thought your sleep was really quite deep!”
“And your nose and your eyes had started to weep
Because your cold was so bad!”

“And I was talking to you but you kept ignoring.
In fact you even started up snoring!”
Then the husband said, “What you were saying was boring!
….until you got to the frisky part!”

I sighed and I started shaking my head.
I thought about yelling but then I instead
Told the husband that he could just go back to bed
Because my frisky was suddenly gone.

So he rolled his eyeballs and laid right back down.
On his face he was sporting a very large frown.
I felt a bit bad so I went to sit down
On the side of the bed again.

I looked down at him with my super cute grin.
I lovingly rubbed his hair stubbled chin.
Then I started to ask him a question again,
Because, after all…he was already awake.

“Hey husband, I did wonder, what you would think
If I wanted to paint the guest bathroom pink?”
I do think he thought my idea did stink
Because his answer was a very loud snore.

Check This Out!
The Slightly Exaggerated husband and children have been thoroughly enjoying playing Guitar Hero on the neighbor's xbox 360. They have also enjoyed SingStar on their cousins' PlayStation. We strongly recommend that you too find generous and kind neighbors and relatives that have these games and are willing to let your family play. They'll have a blast.


Anonymous said...

CLASSIC! A females foreplay is partly the connection from convo...but to a man - that is so UNNECCESARY !! This is SOOoo familiar - LOL


Anonymous said...

I want to know what your teenager said about that post! TMI...I would imagine.

Melissa said...

The teenager said, "You should rename the blog 'Slightly Embarrassing'".

Anonymous said...

I love it... I think that every long-time married, hard-working, child rearing, man and woman can relate...


Anonymous said...

Too Much info for Dad