Monday, October 27, 2008

There Just Might Be Something Wrong With That

The teenager found the junk mail. It was an advertisement from a local car dealership. She scratched the silver scratch -off- box with a dime. She yelled out, “We won! We have the matching number! If we bring this advertisement to the dealer we can win a grand prize of a Mitsubishi Eclipse or $20,000 in cash. There’s also a first prize of an Apple iPhone, a $2000 gas card for 2nd prize and a 3rd prize of a gas card up to $250! Wow, Mom! Even if we won 3rd prize that’s still pretty good!” The scratch-off-box on my junk mail says I have won a prize. I’m not sure, but I think there just might be something wrong with that.

I walked into the living room to find Stanley ambitiously cavorting in her underwear. He had his head through one leg of her panties and both paws were tangled in a bra. Shocked, I asked the cat what he was doing with the teenager’s underwear. He responded by meowing a low, deep meow, rolling onto his back and licking the underwear. My cat is inappropriately frolicking in underwear. I’m not sure, but I think there just might be something wrong with that.

I walked out into the garage and found the husband mesmerized and staring at it. His eyes were glazed over, as if they had been locked on it for quite some time. I asked him if he was ever going to come in for dinner. He told me he would be in when he was done. When I left him he was still standing in the garage staring at his brand new, very shiny, custom built drag racing engine. The husband looks at his engine the way he used to look at me. I’m not sure, but I think there just might be something wrong with that.

Searching for a pre-programmed radio station to listen to on my computer, I found myself bypassing the adult alternative station, the coffeehouse station and the country music station in favor of the Hair Band Heaven station. And it was heaven. I DID feel the noise with Quiet Riot and rocked like a hurricane with the Scorpions. I definitely wanted Jon Bon Jovi to lay his hands on me and the men of Poison to talk dirty to me. And, I’ve decided I really should wear more eyeliner, get a leather jacket and grow myself some really big hair. I am almost 40 years old and am obsessed with the fabulous 80’s. I’m not sure, but I think there just might be something wrong with that.

The teenager couldn’t walk on Monday. She sprained her ankle and tore a ligament in her shin. By Saturday she was playing in her soccer game having convinced her mother that “she was fine”. The teenager was hurt and I let her play. I’m not sure, but I think there just might be something wrong with that.

The boy was supposed to set the table. “I can’t set the table!” he insisted. “Max is lying on the table Mom and he’s doing something funny with that gourd you bought for decoration……ewwww!! MOM!!! You better come look at this!” I found the cat embracing the gourd, licking it all over, biting the end of it and rubbing various parts of his body on the nubby surface. The boy had to leave the room. I swear I saw the cat grin. My cat really, really likes to play with a gourd. I’m not sure, but I think there just might be something wrong with that.

With one week to go until the election, my television, radio, computer, newspaper and mailbox have been taken over with all things prevaricated, accusatory and negatively political. If my kids behaved the way these politicians, special interest groups, political parties and other interested parties are behaving, they would be punished and I would feel like a failure as a parent. Those who are responsible for the tone and quality and integrity of all things political should be ashamed of how they have acted but instead will be rewarded with votes. And I’m pretty darn sure that there’s something wrong with that.


Check This Out!

Pink’s new video So What will make you laugh a bit and reflect a bit. It’s worth a look. Check out these other songs not from the
1980's -Breakdown by Tantric and The Gift from Seether. Of course, if you prefer the coffeehouse radio stations, then definitely disregard the above recommendations.

Everyone should check this out though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y03K1QkuFYM

1 comment:

sunshinegirl said...

This was too funny...but you have some NASTY cats!