Friday, October 3, 2008

It Gets Much Worse

I went to the mailbox with thoughts of the economic crisis and our national downfall swirling around in my head. The stock market was plunging, the average consumer could no longer get loans or credit of any kind and the entire nation was waiting to see if Sarah Palin would implode during the Vice Presidential debate. This awful economic and political crisis, the accompanying credit crunch and shocking bank failures and the dramatic failed bailout plan and subsequent recovery plan have worried our entire nation.

But, I must tell you this, my friends. I have really bad news. For you see, it gets much worse. I have been offered a credit card.

In the midst of this unstable, disturbing, national turmoil a bank has offered me a credit card with a limit of $30,000, in my choice of five fashionable colors. The bank was kind enough to include my new convenience checks so that I could begin saving the economy immediately. I was in shock when I opened the mailbox and found the letter, for you see, I barely have a job. Some people would even consider me unemployed. My yearly income can be measured only in the hundreds of dollars. And I can assure you, it’s not a joke, or a conditional deal or some sort of questionable proposition. I’ve read the fine print. If I sign on the bottom line, this deal is a done deal.

And what shocked me more, was that the letter came from Washington Mutual Bank. Correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t they been having a bit of trouble lately? Technically, do they even exist anymore? While America is losing faith in the entire banking system, it seems that Washington Mutual has placed $30,000 worth of misplaced trust in this almost unemployed, over budget, overwhelmed by her grocery bill, suburban mother of two.

Is it possible we are in far more serious shape than the average American realizes? Do we have this major credit crunch because people like me have been offered such large amounts of undeserved credit? Do we have bank failures because they think almost jobless people like me are credit worthy and should be offered an easy chance to live beyond their means? Does anyone out there have a brain anymore?

I send this notice to you my friends to tell you that something is wrong with this country. I shouldn’t have been offered that credit card. Even if you include the husband’s income, we still shouldn’t have been offered that credit card. A now defunct American bank, in the midst of the most serious national economic situation since the Great Depression, has offered a severely underemployed person $30,000 worth of credit.

This is either very humorous or very disturbing.


Check This Out!

The person that made us laugh the most this week at Slightly Exaggerated was comedienne Chonda Pierce. I can’t tell you how refreshing her honest, vulnerable, southern Christian gal kind of humor has touched us. We laughed until we had to pee. Check her out on You Tube, or at Netflix or at your local library.

2 comments:

Ronnie Mae said...

Melissa,

That is some funny stuff!

I have an idea I think you should take the card, and provide some 3rd party loans to some of those crazy overbudgeted people with a higher interest rate and do a little bank loaning yourself;-) Is that legal....
Cathy

Melissa said...

All confidential applications can be sent to slightlyexaggerated@comcast.net.