Thursday, January 30, 2020

Blood on the Porch

He walked right past the bloodstains on the porch.
Perhaps, the uneven surface of the aggregate hid the evidence.
Perhaps he saw them but his brain told him it
had to be something else.

He put his key into the blood-smeared doorknob.

This he noticed.
The blood.

Never one to overreact,
his first thought was,

"Well, something definitely happened here."

I had tried to call him for over an hour.
He was driving.
His phone was turned off.
Etc., etc.......

I never reached him.

But...I couldn't get my finger to stop bleeding. I knew the proper first aid.  I performed the recommended procedures.  I even consulted the esteemed Google doctor and his commenting cronies. My paper towel supply started to run low.  I wasn't sure how much longer I could apply pressure and hold my hand above my head.  The situation was borderline dire.

After an hour I was still bleeding a lot.

I took another look at the damage that had been done.

There was quite a significant jagged cut. I was able to see inside to a few parts that aren't supposed to be seen from the outside. A small part of me wondered if I'd pass out from the blood loss. A larger part of me decided that thought was ridiculous. I just need to take charge of this situation and drive myself to Urgent Care-not the far one, my favorite, but the close one. I certainly wouldn't do anything crazy.

The husband saw the note I had taped to the entryway floor.

"I have driven myself to Urgent Care--the close one."

The husband, knowing I was capable of writing a note AND finding the elusive tape to secure the note (which meant I was still remarkably coherent) decided he had time to go to the bathroom.  He entered the powder room off the entryway and found a sink full of blood spatters and drips.  He found blood-soaked toilet paper scattered on the counter beside the sink.

The husband, being the relaxed person he usually is then went into the kitchen to put his lunch box away........before he rushed off to Urgent Care-the close one, of course.  It was there he was met with piles of paper towels soaked in blood.  It was then he saw random blood drops(pools)  in the kitchen sink.  It was then he saw the Google search pulled up on the open laptop, "what do I do if I can't stop my finger from bleeding?"  It was then he got in the car and rushed off to Urgent Care-the close one.

Of course.

The nurse opened the door and said, "Your husband is here."

He said, "What did you do?"

I said, "I wanted to trim that stupid hedge.  It's way overgrown.  I got out the hedge trimmer and started trimming.  But then it jammed.  So I turned the trimmer off and cleared the junk.  When I turned it back on my hand was still on the blades.  It chewed my finger up for about 1/10th of a second.  That was enough."

He said, "But there is a handguard, your hand stays behind the guard for safety? Right?"

I said, "Yep.  That's what it's there for.  But I put my hand in front of it, right on the vibrating blades."

He said, "Why?"

I said, "I don't frickin' know why.  I think we can chalk this one up to operator error."

One of us went home, driving with 11 stitches on one bandaged up hand and the other able-bodied hand desperately trying to navigate the corners.

One of us went home via the drive-thru and brought home dinner.