‘Twas the day after the election
And all through the states
The people awoke
And pondered their fate.
Some people thanked Jesus
And offered a prayer.
Some people wallowed
In hungover despair.
It was finally over.
Campaigning was done.
A new time in America
Had just begun.
The TV was full
Of political chatter.
They spoke of how voting
Records were shattered.
The people were inspired.
They wept with joy.
Some preached, “It is time!”
Some were annoyed.
Analysts analyzed,
And the votes were reviewed.
Some thought things were great.
Some thought we were screwed.
And while the smart people talked
About transitions and such.
Most people didn’t care
About it that much.
As the pundits dissected
And explained the mysterious.
The people were tired
Of being so serious.
So they switched the channel
And looked for something more steamy.
Enough of the suits!
Bring on Dr. McDreamy!
TV ads for Boniva,
Mountain Dew and Aleve
Were a such a relief from
“Approved” ones that deceived.
The amount of junk mail
Was dramatically slashed.
They only found bills
That demanded their cash.
Thanksgiving was coming
And they must plan ahead.
Someone brings the pie
And someone bakes the bread.
And away to their yards
They flew like a flash.
Some tore out their yard signs
Half were hucked in the trash.
They needed the lawn space
At this time of year
For the huge blow up sleigh
And eight plastic reindeer.
They rushed off to soccer.
They rushed off to ballet.
They rushed through the drive through
At the end of each day.
They didn’t talk
About votes anymore.
They went back to talking
About the crazies next door.
And while the people were glad
To finally move on,
They did have one worry
That still wasn’t gone.
“We’ve lost some money
And we are so shocked!
Could you please fix it soon?”
They asked of Barack.
“Obama we beg you!
Please help us all.
Because we’d really like
To get back to the mall.”
“We haven’t been shopping
In a very long time.
Instead we’ve been reading
Weird poems that rhyme.”
“So if you could actually
Make the economy work
The Republicans will be nice
And not call you a jerk!”
“So Mr. Obama,
We know you’re our man!
Fill our wallets with money!
Yes you can!”
Then the Democrats exclaimed
To the Republicans on the right,
"Don’t worry so much.
We don’t have to fight."
"Things will be great.
This we do know.
In fact we’re quite sure.
...Oprah said so."
Check This Out!
The cheese of the month at Slightly Exaggerated is cotija. Sprinkle crumbled cotija and some black beans on a flour tortilla. Nuke until the cheese is melted. Spoon a ton of really fresh pico de gallo on top. Fold it like a taco and enjoy.
Songs of the week have been Hank Williams', Hey Good Lookin' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OxB1t2EEK0M ), The Last Kiss from Pearl Jam( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0B-hJ_gotc), and Love Ain't No Stranger by Whitesnake (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_qkB07VSwU).
Showing posts with label 'Twas the night.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label 'Twas the night.... Show all posts
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
'Twas the Night Before the Election
‘Twas the night before the election,
When all through the states,
All the people were stirring,
And were tired of the wait.
The candidates had sung
Their promises with care,
In hopes that the votes
Would somehow be there.
The people had wrestled
With thoughts in their heads,
While visions of doom
Multiplied and spread.
McCain is too stiff!
He’s ready to snap!
He settled for Palin
And she’s full of crap.
Obama rumors then surfaced
Fueled by internet chatter.
The anti-Christ! He’s a Muslim!
Being black might matter!
To the left or the right
People went like a flash.
They tore open their wallets
And sent in their cash.
McCain and Obama
Gathered up their dough.
While Hillary counted
How much money she owed.
McCain started pondering
When Vice Joe should appear.
But the party forced Palin
With her 5 kids standing near.
For old hostage McCain
She was an unusual choice.
For he didn’t know
This Alaskan voice.
“It’s Biden for me!”
Obama proclaimed.
"He’s got experience,
Just like McCain."
However, he worried
What Biden would say.
Those Hillary women
They still needed to sway.
To the top of the polls
The mavericks did crawl.
The Palin effect
Sure did enthrall.
But,then she saw Russia
And gave a steady supply
To Saturday Night Live
With her loony replies.
So up to the poll top
The Democrats flew.
They dumped Jeremiah
And William Ayers too.
And then in a twinkling
There was one major goof.
The foreclosure notices
Provided the proof.
As banks went in the red,
The economy unsound,
Down the stock market tumbled
Then tried to rebound.
Robo-calls started ringing.
Absurd emails were sent.
Junk mail filled each mailbox
With untrue content.
Partisan rhetoric
Was used to attack.
They made fun of George Bush
And how he went to Iraq.
The debates-how they argued!
They were both quite contrary.
Each one told the nation
The other was scary.
Then Biden’s big mouth-
It started to blow.
“Obama will be tested
That I do know!”
Then Palin went shopping.
And then she went rogue.
She said what she wanted.
And her clothes were from Vogue.
And finally Obama
Bought our TV time.
But McCain said, “Wait!
I think victory is mine!”
Now up and down go the polls
And we’re frightened and scared.
What if he wins?
He’s just not prepared!
They’ve both promised change
And we want to believe.
But this election has left us
Polarized and deceived.
We now think in extremes.
We will NEVER retire!
We think it’s “their” fault.
We think people are liars.
We now vote for our future.
But, I fear it’s too late.
Are we forever divided
Into red and blue states?
I am right! You are wrong!
Neighbor against friend.
This is no way to live.
We must start to mend.
So I’m here to exclaim
As the campaigning ends
It can’t come too soon.
Now let’s all be friends.
Check This Out!
The entire Slightly Exaggerated family has enjoyed the recent Saturday Night Live political sketches. We encourage you to check them all out. Start with this one. http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-palin-rap/773781/
Don't forget to also enjoy Oscar Rogers pleading to FIX IT!! Watch this one first. http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-thursday-part-2/742141/
Watch this one second. http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-freds-mapfix-it/784121/
When all through the states,
All the people were stirring,
And were tired of the wait.
The candidates had sung
Their promises with care,
In hopes that the votes
Would somehow be there.
The people had wrestled
With thoughts in their heads,
While visions of doom
Multiplied and spread.
McCain is too stiff!
He’s ready to snap!
He settled for Palin
And she’s full of crap.
Obama rumors then surfaced
Fueled by internet chatter.
The anti-Christ! He’s a Muslim!
Being black might matter!
To the left or the right
People went like a flash.
They tore open their wallets
And sent in their cash.
McCain and Obama
Gathered up their dough.
While Hillary counted
How much money she owed.
McCain started pondering
When Vice Joe should appear.
But the party forced Palin
With her 5 kids standing near.
For old hostage McCain
She was an unusual choice.
For he didn’t know
This Alaskan voice.
“It’s Biden for me!”
Obama proclaimed.
"He’s got experience,
Just like McCain."
However, he worried
What Biden would say.
Those Hillary women
They still needed to sway.
To the top of the polls
The mavericks did crawl.
The Palin effect
Sure did enthrall.
But,then she saw Russia
And gave a steady supply
To Saturday Night Live
With her loony replies.
So up to the poll top
The Democrats flew.
They dumped Jeremiah
And William Ayers too.
And then in a twinkling
There was one major goof.
The foreclosure notices
Provided the proof.
As banks went in the red,
The economy unsound,
Down the stock market tumbled
Then tried to rebound.
Robo-calls started ringing.
Absurd emails were sent.
Junk mail filled each mailbox
With untrue content.
Partisan rhetoric
Was used to attack.
They made fun of George Bush
And how he went to Iraq.
The debates-how they argued!
They were both quite contrary.
Each one told the nation
The other was scary.
Then Biden’s big mouth-
It started to blow.
“Obama will be tested
That I do know!”
Then Palin went shopping.
And then she went rogue.
She said what she wanted.
And her clothes were from Vogue.
And finally Obama
Bought our TV time.
But McCain said, “Wait!
I think victory is mine!”
Now up and down go the polls
And we’re frightened and scared.
What if he wins?
He’s just not prepared!
They’ve both promised change
And we want to believe.
But this election has left us
Polarized and deceived.
We now think in extremes.
We will NEVER retire!
We think it’s “their” fault.
We think people are liars.
We now vote for our future.
But, I fear it’s too late.
Are we forever divided
Into red and blue states?
I am right! You are wrong!
Neighbor against friend.
This is no way to live.
We must start to mend.
So I’m here to exclaim
As the campaigning ends
It can’t come too soon.
Now let’s all be friends.
Check This Out!
The entire Slightly Exaggerated family has enjoyed the recent Saturday Night Live political sketches. We encourage you to check them all out. Start with this one. http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-palin-rap/773781/
Don't forget to also enjoy Oscar Rogers pleading to FIX IT!! Watch this one first. http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-thursday-part-2/742141/
Watch this one second. http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/update-freds-mapfix-it/784121/
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