Tuesday, July 11, 2023

Pinky Ruth #96

I had spent a lovely day eating plastic, throwing up plastic and chasing a frozen pea across the floor for 9 minutes. But I experienced true shock when Maddie told me the news.

Maddie informed that Lay-dee has been taking advantage of me. Apparently, I have a presence on the internet that I was previously unaware of. And now, I am told, Lay-dee has taken it upon herself to archive my previous writings, thoughts and experiences. This is yet another reason why she will never be my favorite. A refined lady, such as myself, would prefer to have a certain mystery that surrounds and follows her.

I would like to state for the record that I am greviously disturbed that my most private and vulnerable experiences have been exposed to tens of people for "entertainment" purposes and also, appallingly, for some outlandish, unreasonable hope of personal gain for Lay-dee.

I am a strong, independent Pinky Ruth and I will not be taken advantage of.

I have contacted my lawyers.

Signed, Pinky Ruth, disturbed

#lookingforsponsors #Ispeaktwolanguages #myleftsideisbest #Imgonnabeastar

(I have finally finished putting all of the Pinky Ruth posts onto my blog. If you want to read them all, they can be reached at www.slightlyexaggerated.com The first post was on July 30, 2021. Eventually,  PR will have her own space.)

Thursday, July 6, 2023

Pinky Ruth #95

Maddie and I stayed at Lay-dee’s house for 5 days. I watched the kids and the crows from the front window, chewed on a bit of plastic Lay-dee did not hide well, and saw scary Mr. Naked out Lay-dee’s back window.

One uninvited hooligan, Max, even snuck into my room for a visit. I glared and half-heartedly growled at him from my softy window perch. Maddie made him leave.
I also saw the other hooligan, Stanley, when I went to steal his food. He stared blankly at me. He wobbled when he walked. Maddie had to lift him onto Lay-dee and Big Daddy’s bed. And then Maddie and Lay-dee took turns petting him. No one paid any attention to me. I didn’t even care about stealing the hooligan food anymore. I took one last look at the hooligan on the bed. Something wasn’t right and I didn't like it. I went and hid in the closet.
The next day he was gone. I looked for him on the bed. I looked in every room. I even looked downstairs. I’ve never seen Maddie, Lay-dee and Big Daddy look so sad. I didn’t like the crying. I went and hid under the bed for a day.
Maddie took this picture on the day I met the Stanley hooligan. I was never happy about the hooligans trying to be my friend. But now, my visits to Lay-dee’s house just won’t be the same without that little black cat, Stanley.

Saturday, July 1, 2023

Pinky Ruth #94

I am sitting on the most comfortable, softy blanket, 2nd floor, suburban window perch that Lay-dee has ever created for me. She would like me to show my appreciation in a positive way.

Instead, I glared at her. I ate the treats she offered me and then hissed a few times until she went away. Lay-dee then called me a big poop. This is yet another reason why she will never be my favorite.
Thankfully, Maddie is here with me and this is not another Pinky Ruth "abandoned in the suburbs" story. Maddie has, however, been spending a lot of time with one of the elderly hooligans. Maddie says the hooligan might be dying.
I find myself saddened that the hooligan is no longer a healthy and equal adversary. Maddie gives good pets and always makes me feel better.
For now, the hooligan needs those Maddie pets more than I do.

Monday, May 29, 2023

Pinky Ruth #93

Day 5 of my holiday kidnapping: I knew the plastic was behind the closet door in the room next to mine. The minute Lay-dee left me unsupervised, I made a break for it. The smell behind the door was overwhelming. She found me staring at the closet door, nose to the floor at the base of the door. I was willing for that door to open.

Lay-dee said to me, "Pinky Ruth, you are never going to get that bubble wrap. I will not be an enabler to your addiction." This is yet another reason why Lay-dee will never be my favorite.
I buried my defeated and offended self under the bed covers in my room. I was blissfully sound asleep until Lay-dee threw the covers back and rudely stuffed me in my carrying case. I made sure to express my displeasure at being trapped the entire drive back to my city apartment. Lay-dee called my unhappy meows, death meows. I consider that a compliment.
And now, tonight, I am happy. I'm back with my Maddie.

Sunday, May 28, 2023

Pinky Ruth #92

Day 4 of my holiday kidnapping: I am less cranky today. I didn't hiss at Lay-dee once. I am always very tempted, however, each time she wants to chit-chat. I think Lay-dee needs someone to talk to because she is all alone with the hooligans and me for 5 days. She seems to have a lot to say in the last few days. Please just let me sleep Lay-dee. I believe I can speak for all felines--we rate our desire to sleep much greater than our desire to listen to your lonely Lay-dee incessant babbling.

I expanded my exploration of the upstairs today. I peed in the hooligans' litter box-a kidnapping tradition. I even jumped up on a desk and smelled every single thing I could. I thought I smelled a plastic flower that I could eat, but it turned out to be crepe paper.
I finally sat in the front window for a short time. I saw and heard a lot of power washing and lawn mowing and kids screaming. I soon retreated to the solace of my closet fort to get some peace and quiet. Now if only chatterbox Lay-dee stays away, I will finally get the 20 hours of sleep that I need.

Saturday, May 27, 2023

Pinky Ruth #91

Day 3 of my holiday kidnapping: I continue to sulk in my closet fort as much as Lay-dee will allow me to. Five times today she has woken me up from a deep sleep with an annoying, chirpy greeting.

I do not want to play. I do not want to use my scratcher box. I do not want to sit in the front window. I do not want to be brushed. I do want the treats. But I want Lay-dee to drop the treats and leave immediately, with as little conversation as possible.
I did manage to briefly venture out of my room today. It took me 5 minutes of exploration to finally find some tasty plastic that was within my reach. I was about to take a bite when Lay-dee arrived. She put her hands on her hips and we had a staredown. Lay-dee called me a plastic crackhead.
I have now retreated to my closet fort where I have resumed my sulking. I may never come out again.

Friday, May 26, 2023

Pinky Ruth #90

I'd like to welcome you to the 2nd annual Pinky Ruth Memorial Day Kidnapping. I have spent the last 31 hours sulking in my cozy closet fort in Lay-dee's house. Lay-dee seems desperate for me to appear cheerful during this unwanted holiday abduction.

Lay-dee keeps prattling on in her annoyingly chirpy voice. "You're such a pretty girl, Pinky Ruth!". "You're such a good girl, Pinky Ruth!". I stare at her with my half-eye open judgy look. She has responded to my indifference by giving me 5 treats, opening the window for me to "get the good smells" and trying to brush my fur twice. I responded by eating all of the treats and hissing at her 4 times.
Lay-dee told me Loud Boy is moving to New Mexico this weekend and Big Daddy is helping him. I now understand their heavy-handed goodbye pets this morning. Lay-dee told me this quietly in her regular, non-chirpy voice. She said, "It's just you and me this weekend Pinky Ruth. Just you...and me.....and of course, (the elderly hooligans).
Despite her happy, chirpy efforts to get me to come out of the closet, I think Lay-dee might be sad. I would like to state for the record, emphatically, that I am NOT an emotional support Pinky Ruth animal. I am a kidnapped Pinky Ruth, trapped in this cozy closet fort. I am frustrated to not be in my own sunshine spot in Maddie's apartment.
So why do I feel guilty for hissing at Lay-dee?