Saturday, December 31, 2022

Pinky Ruth #78

I was confident during my last few days of forced holiday merriment at Lay-dee's house. Lay-dee gave me special catnip with some sort of extra ingredient in it. While I was very, very interested in exploring this catnip experience, I kept my cool while Lay-dee was watching. I didn't want her to think I liked what she gave me.

I was also quite interested in the smell of bows and ribbon and tape. Plastic is my favorite. These other wrapping things are my second favorite. I was, unfortunately, unsuccessful in snatching some Christmas wrapping for a little snack. I suspect Maddie and Lay-dee might be on to me.
I came downstairs, following Maddie, quite a few times. I am coming to believe that I am the feline boss of Lay-dee's house when I am there. Those elderly hooligan cats no longer present a challenge to me. In fact, there was a second incident this trip of a hooligan peeing in a box that was not a designated litter box.
I claim no responsibility.
I have been back in my 5th floor city perch for the last day. I am happy to be home. But I am also hoping Maddie will spot me a little of Lay-dee's special catnip. Don't tell Lay-dee, but that was pretty good stuff.

Sunday, December 25, 2022

Pinky Ruth #77

I happily watched the cars and people slide all over the Seattle streets from my 5th floor perch. I was cozy and happy and amused.

It was then that Lay-dee showed up and facilitated my holiday transfer to the suburbs. Upon arrival, I quickly established my dominance over the elderly hooligan cats. Lay-dee speculates that my presence has caused an elderly hooligan to pee in a shoe box that was not a designated litter box.
I think not.
I have spent more time than normal hiding underneath Lay-dee's bed. 1. There has been some cranky hissing between the hooligans and I. 2. The loud boy has arrived. 3. Maddie has removed my favorite, hooligans', special delicious, not healthy food. All of this has caused me to experience stress during this supposedly joyous holiday time.
Finally, I was snatched from my underbed hideout and forced to pose for a picture-downstairs, with the loud boy, while Lay-dee kept screaming at me, "Smile Pinky Ruth, smile!!!!!"
This has not been a happy holiday time for me.

Sunday, November 27, 2022

Pinky Ruth #76

I am home from my holiday adventure at Lay-dee's house. I am disappointed to report that, although I did smell it, there was not one scrap of turkey offered to me.

I have started to greet Lay-dee by prancing up to her and meowing my happy, friendly meows every time she comes upstairs. Lay-dee then attacks me with hugs and scratches on the top of my head. She tells me she loves me and tells me how pretty I am. I am not sure I have decided to love Lay-dee back and I have definitely not decided if she is also pretty, but I do love that junk cat food she feeds those hooligans. It is much tastier than my healthy kidney diet food. I now know that if I treat Lay-dee real nice, she will sneak me a few pieces of that forbidden food when Maddie is not looking.
During my holiday adventure at Lay-dee's, I was called to supervise Maddie and that booming-voiced man-boy. They were playing a game about birds and I felt they needed an expert close by. I sometimes like to hide from the hooligans under the man-boy's bed-but he was in it every time I looked and the hooligans were not a threat. So, I stayed away.
Lay-dee drove Maddie and me back to the city today. The car was stopped at a light when a little girl in a giant tall car next to us looked down and saw me. She became very excited and told her family about me. Maddie raised my paw and waved to her. As she waved back, I could tell she was very happy--as she should have been.
Lay-dee had to stop the car for quite a long time. Maddie said there were other cars that had smashed into each other. I hate it when Lay-dee's car moves, so I didn't complain too much when it stopped. In fact, I couldn't stop staring at the blinking and flashing and twirling police car lights. Moving lights are my favorite. And now, police car lights are also my favorite.
I am home from my holiday adventure now. I have checked out the action from my 5th-floor perch and am now burrowed under Maddie's blankets, resigned to my upcoming dinner of kidney-friendly food.

Friday, November 25, 2022

Pinky Ruth #75

I chatter yelled at the crow through the car window. "Hey! I'm Pinky Ruth from the city! I know some city crows. Are you related to them?" The distracted suburban crow never looked my way. They just kept eating a french fry from the Dairy Queen.

This visit to Lay-dee's house has been almost relaxing. It is because Maddie did not dump me here and run off on some adventure. We are still able to cuddle every night.
I have also easily exerted my dominance over Lay-dee's elderly rascal hooligan cats. I have eaten their junk cat food, I have peed in their litter box, and I have watched birds from their favorite window perch. I even wandered downstairs into their territory and was completely unopposed.
The delightful realization that I might now be the feline sovereign of Lay-dee's house quickly turned to a bit of concern. Why does the black hooligan look so sad and old? Why does the other crazy hooligan look so skinny? What has happened to my hooligan adversaries?

Tuesday, November 22, 2022

Pinky Ruth #74

Things have become quite serious here on the 5th floor. I now know without a doubt that my city time is limited.

Maddie cleaned out the refrigerator.
My shocked face should be interpreted as the inevitable sad realization of my impending unrequested travel arrangements. I had prepared myself for a night of sulking. I was prepared to withhold 1% of my bedtime cuddles with Maddie in protest.
But then, the light arrived.
I chased it.
I attacked it.

Maddie said I was chasing my own shadow. They are so funny with the jokes.
I have hopes that perhaps, maybe, today is the day that I have finally vanquished this bright, repetitive, and persistent adversary.
As for Lay-dee's house? My reflective distraction has caused me to reevaluate my priorities. I have decided that Lay-dee must be relegated to a tomorrow problem.
Tonight, I cuddle with Maddie. (100%)

Monday, November 21, 2022

Pinky Ruth #73

Maddie said, "Lay-dee is excited to see you this week, Pinky Ruth! Lay-dee wants to know what you are doing right now."
The disgusted look on my face reflects the fact that I was suddenly woken by the phrase, "Lay-dee wants a picture of you."
I then laid my head down in the standard semi-serious feline depressive pose. As I anticipate my inevitable "holiday at Lay-dee's" adventure, I wish for 3 things.

1. I want to find that softy Bob the Builder blanket spread out on the end of Maddie's bed.
2. I want my closet fort to be repaired so that it will not collapse on me and try to kill me.
3. I want Lay-dee's rascal hooligan cats to respect the Pinky Ruth. Lay-dee's elderly kittymen need to keep their visits to an amicable, respectful sniffing session in my room. And then, they need to leave.
That is all the suburban hooligan friendship I anticipate needing.
Signed, Pinky Ruth

#nophotosplease #bobthebuilderrocks #nohooligansallowed #friendshipisoverrated 

Friday, November 18, 2022

Pinky Ruth #72

Judging the events that occur below my 5th-floor viewing perch is one of the most important parts of my day. There are crows pecking in the dirt at the lot next door. There are busses stopping and going-people on, people off. There are bikes and cars and dogs. The dogs are constantly told they are "good dogs" because they wait outside the coffee shop until their neglectful owner returns. Maddie would never leave me alone outside of a coffee shop.

Last week I even saw teenagers from the high school walking with signs. They shouted that they wanted to learn without getting shot. Today, I found a bug in my viewing window. I chased it for 5 minutes before I killed it and left it for Maddie to dispose of.
You can see from this photo that my very important judging perch is being encroached upon by Maddie's plant obsession. Today, I maybe, "accidentally" nudged a plant. I needed more space and wanted a better view.
Maddie said, "Oh, Pinky Ruth, next week you'll have so many plant-free windows to look out of at Lay-dee's house."
My own plant-crowded window perch>>>10 of Lay-dee's plant-free windows
I withdraw my complaint.

Wednesday, September 7, 2022

Pinky Ruth #71

My last few blissful days at Lay-dee and Big Daddy's house were quite wonderful! (Lay-dee made me write that. I'd actually give a weak 5 out of 10 rating to my feline hostage "vacation" accommodations.)

During my last few days, I did manage an epic zoomie session that touched all corners of the upstairs of Lay-dee's house. Lay-dee finally walked upstairs and asked me, "Pinky Ruth, do you have the zoomies?"

I stared at her, dumbfounded at how she could even question my epic zoomie run. In my head, however, I said, "You are either really, really dumb or you have got to start paying attention!"
I spent a lot of time downstairs as well. I sat in all of the treadmill room windows. I even became brave enough to look out of one of the living room windows. The two hooligans were watching me but I ignored them.
My last day was ruined when the black and white hooligan jumped me in my own room. There was a lot of screaming. I beat the heck out of that elderly kitty boy with my giant paw. When it was over, the hooligan was in a very long time out behind closed doors. Lay-dee and Big Daddy were quite distraught. And I was free to do whatever I wanted to for the rest of my stay. Because, as a guest, Lay-dee said, one should not be pummeled by an elderly hooligan.
I am now, finally, home. I have not left Maddie's side for a day and a half. We shall cuddle as long as they will let me. Because there is no place like home. I should know.

Friday, September 2, 2022

Pinky Ruth #70

I spent my day hopping between all of the closet forts that Lay-dee has made for me. I was resting for quite some time in Lay-dee's big closet. She had laid out a soft bathroom rug on top of some big Rubbermaid containers. I slept, hidden by Big Daddy's shirts that hung down to cover me.

The black and white hooligan kept trying to escape upstairs. Lay-dee was sure he was trying to find me. She yelled at him enough that he finally gave up and went to sleep in his strawberry box. I took this as a cue to run back to my own room. But then, Lay-dee started talking to her friend on the phone. Lay-dee was very distracted. She was not a responsible Pinky Ruth sitter.
When Lay-dee found us, after quite a lot of time had passed, the hooligan was sitting 4 feet away from me. His paws were curled under and his head was cocked to the side. He had on his, "I'm an innocent good boy" face.
I was under the bed. My ample rear end was facing the intruding hooligan. Lay-dee gasped when she saw us. She called out my name. I turned my head and glanced, dismissively, at them both, and then I turned my head back. Lay-dee was surprised that I wasn't growling.
Lay-dee gushed, "Look at you two being such good friends!"
I said, in my head, in my most polite, curmudgeonly way, "I know he's here and I know he's sitting awfully close to me. For now, I have allowed him in my room. However, the only view he's gonna have is my one of my pretty, white, furry rear end."

Wednesday, August 31, 2022

Pinky Ruth #69

Lay-dee's rascal hooligan boys came after me today.

I was in my room, staring at them out in the hallway They were in the hallway, staring back at me. The hooligan with the black fur rolled over on his back, showed me his belly,

and then stretched his body out as long as he could. And then, he just laid there-lookin' at me. The hooligan with the black and white fur was standing up, leaning forward with his head cocked to the side like he was listening. He had some googly eyes and they were locked on me. I don't think he moved for quite a few minutes. He didn't seem like a threat. He just seemed like a crazy fluffer while he stood there-lookin' at me.
Lay-dee said I was cute, sitting there like a big white loaf of bread. She said my front paws, curled under my belly, made me look like a super cute darlin'. Lay-dee said I was being so patient and understanding with the hooligans and she was so glad that we were starting to be friends. It was then I knew I needed to break this little Lay-dee lovefest up. I was pretty sure I did not want to be friends with the black hooligan. He came on too strong with his belly flashing. And I for sure knew that black and white hooligan was trouble in a charming, crazy bag of fur.
I started my low, guttural growl. I gave my warning. I made it clear I wouldn't stand for any of this hooligan staring at me nonsense. I kept my paws curled and stayed cute. Oh yeah, those rascal hooligans came after me today. But I, Pinky Ruth, am a strong independent lady and made them retreat. I, Pinky Ruth won that staring at each other from a respectable distance while supervised by Lay-dee battle.

Tuesday, August 30, 2022

Pinky Ruth #68

When Lay-dee got home today she took one look at my room and started shaking her head from side to side.

She said to me, "Pinky Ruth! I see that your food puzzle is upside down on the other side of the room. I see that there's a trail of food all over the floor."
She said to me, "Why are 4 of your toys on the bed when they were on the floor this morning?"
Lay-dee wondered out loud, "I see that you also have some toys hidden in your closet fort........hmmmmm."
Lay-dee noticed the rocking chair blanket. She announced quietly to herself, "She definitely moved that blanket."
Lay-dee then took a long look at crinkle butterfly-all alone in the center of the room. She touched crinkle butterfly. She turned to me and asked, "Pinky Ruth....why is crinkle butterfly wet?"
Bossy, nosy Lay-dee finally demanded an explanation.
I could have said, "Well, Lay-dee, it's very hard to move my food puzzle on your carpeted floors. I did what I needed to do to make it work. I moved some of my toys to the bed because the softy Bob the Builder blanket on the bed is fun to play on. Some of my toys are in the closet because I was playing too hard and they became trapped behind those doors. As for the rocking chair blanket-it was in my way. And as for crinkle butterfly being all wet? I'd rather not discuss that."
But instead of saying all of that, I stared at Lay-dee and said nothing. Because, really, what happens when Lay-dee is gone is none of her business.