Pinky Ruth #108

 

I, Pinky Ruth, have just survived 11 days at Lay-dee's house. 7 days were complete misery for me. 4 additional days were mostly unpleasant. During my week of misery, Lay-dee kept calling me her "cute, little, goofy, grumpy gal." Big Daddy's description of my behavior, however, was quite reactionary and a bit foul mouthed. Lay-dee said he was being a big baby and needed to be more understanding of my difficult predicament. On that day, Lay-dee was my favorite.

I was forced to have more friendship time with the Rugrats. Big Rugrat #1 immediately went to pilfer all of my kidney diet food. Rugrat #2 again, placed her paws up on the table I was sitting on. I stared at her innocent face, the one that had a presumption of cooperation and affinity. She stared at my wary face, the one that had a presumption of annoyance and superiority. She stared too long, so I was forced to bop her paws, 3 times, to let her know she needed to back away from, I, the Pinky Ruth. Big Daddy laughed at me and said it didn't count as a threat because I bopped that Rugrat very, very, very slowly. Big Daddy accused me of being a "funny goofer" and "finally coming around." I should have bopped his face.

I am finally back home with my Maddie. We are cozy together with a soft blanket and a great view of the trees. Two things I am certain of: There is no place like home and 11 days is too long to be away from your people.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#miserymighthavebeenanexaggeration

#slowmotionstillcounts #BigDaddyiscranky #saynotofriendshiptime

Pinky Ruth #107

 It is day 4 of my current captivity at Lay-dee's house. I have compiled an assessment of my living conditions that I feel accurately reflects my predicament.

Pros: Lay-dee bribes me with treats if I look sad. So, I pretend to look sad. Lay-dee worries that I'm not eating enough of my kidney diet food. She will then slip me a bit of the fat cat food she feeds those chonky Rugrats. I will continue to eat both foods when she is not looking.

Cons: The kids in Lay-dee's street have not learned how to be quiet when I am sleeping. The neighborhood crows are also overdue for a lesson in how not to be so cocky and rude when they loudly squawk out their opinions. Forced friendship time with Lay-dee's Rugrats is overrated. Maddie's work trips are overrated. Lay-dee's entire house is overrated.

I miss my Maddie and my apartment.

Hmmmmph.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#sadfortreats #2foodsarebetterthanone #banfriendshiptime #banworktrips

Pinky Ruth #106

 I, Queen Pinky Ruth, have arrived at Lay-dee's house for 10 days. I immediately smelled the Rugrats behind that closed door at the top of the stairs. I quickly explored the house, making sure to leave my scent everywhere I could. Lay-dee asked if I was going to miss Maddie and I responded with a hiss. Big Daddy asked if I was going to be grumpy during my entire visit and I responded with a hiss. Lay-dee asked me, in her pretend nice voice, if I wanted a treat. I responded with a hiss. Lay-dee then left me the treat and walked away. I inhaled that treat. I am currently sitting near the heat vent, on the softest blanket ever and am proud that I conned Lay-dee out of two additional treats. But, I still refuse to be happy about any of those nice things.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#3treatsandcounting #grumpybychoice #Rugratssmellspoiled #thequeenhasarrived