Pinky Ruth #102

My Thanksgiving visit to Lay-dee's house began with me moping in my closet fort. The unruly rugrat kittens often lurked on the other side of my door. Once I realized my moping was not being sufficiently appreciated, I ventured off into Lay-dee's bedroom. Lay-dee's rugrat kittens had shredded the liner of the bedroom curtains when they attempted to climb them. Lay-dee had tried to repair the liners with clear plastic packing tape.

Plastic packing tape is my absolute favorite.

I smelled it.

I needed to eat it.

I chewed as much as I could before my silence became suspicious and I was unceremoniously placed back in Maddie's room. The door was shut.

My Thanksgiving experience culminated in some required "Friendship Time". Maddie says I must spend time staring at the rugrat kittens so we can become friends. Maddie sat between us, preventing us from attacking each other, presumably. I will reluctantly admit, the kittens that stared back at me were well behaved. I think they were, quite possibly, as bored as I was. Our final forced "Friendship Time" session was a much prolonged starefest with me getting bored and walking away. As soon as I turned my head, those rugrats rushed in. They started licking the dried up crusties from my food bowls and drinking from my water bowl.

An attack on me, Pinky Ruth, was not imminent, apparently. They had other priorities.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#relaxmaddie #rugratsareharmless? #Laydeeneedsnewcurtains #Illtakethetape

Pinky Ruth #101

 Maddie bought a goofy, bouncy toy for Lay-dee's new rugrat kittens and wanted me to play with it. I refused and walked away with my head held high and my sophisticated, discerning pride intact.

The last time I visited Lay-dee and encountered those new rugrat kittens, I was overwhelmed by their smell. I was particularly offended that they had been sleeping on my favorite, softy Bob the Builder blanket. Their smell was most unpleasant.

After the two elderly hooligans died, I presumed that I would become the queen of Lay-dee's suburban castle. But these rugrat kittens have ensured that my visits to Lay-dee's house are now full of chaos, disrespect and hour long nighttime rugrat zoomies outside my door. I am clearly not in charge.

I tried to show Maddie on my last visit that I was also still capable of nightime zoomies. My one 6 second lap around the bed, I believe, was most impressive---for a 10 year old mature Pinky Ruth.

Maddie tells me we are leaving tomorrow to visit Lay-dee and those tireless rugrat kittens. I am already exhausted.

Signed, Pinky Ruth #stretchbeforezoomies #youthisoverrated #agebeforerugrats #whendidIbecometheoldone

Pinky Ruth #100

 I arrived at Lay-dee's house with Maddie. I inspected the window perches, closet forts and the required, softy, Bob the Builder blanket. I have awarded Lay-dee a 6 out of 10 stars for my room accomodation preparations.

Because I could smell them.

I knew that Lay-dee's new rugrat kittens had contaminated my room.

Maddie then proceeded to spend too much time cuddling with the rugrat kittens. When Maddie came to check on me I hissed at them. All I could smell was rugrats.

And then I saw the rugrats peeking into my room. Both of them had cones on their heads. I don't know what new-fangled, young cat, hip hop fashion they were wearing. I will certainly report that it was not a sensible choice. I even considered the fact that they were celebrating Halloween a bit early with their pseudo-alien, other-worldly, plastic, very impractical, cone-head costume.

I knew, however, that no feline-even these inexperienced rugrats-would ever chose this attire on purpose.

And so now, I stare out the window Lay-dee opened for me. I sniff the good sniffs, feeling sorry for those little cone-headed rugrats.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#noconesafterLaborDay #doesthisconemakemybuttlookfat #rugratssmell #sendFebreze

Pinky Ruth #99

 I visited Lay-dee two weeks ago and was most distressed to find my well earned superiority challenged by 2 little upstart, undisciplined rugrat kittens. Lay-dee tried her hardest to accomodate me. She put the rugrats in her bedroom and shut the door. She told me I could wander the entire house when I wanted, for as long as I wanted.

I came to the doorway of Maddie's room and stared at the closed door of Lay-dee's room I decided the only room I wanted to roam was Lay-dee's room. The room behind that closed door. I liked to sleep in the closet. I liked to sleep under the bed. I refused to roam anywhere else. I stared at Lay-dee in protest until I was sure she felt quite guilty about my predicament.

But, I was not done. Lay-dee's new rugrats destroyed what small amount of enjoyment I had found at her house. I would most certainly not go down without expressing a bit of petty revenge. I waited until Lay-dee was asleep. At 2:30 am I stuck my paw underneath the door of Maddie's room--the door I was trapped behind for the night. I grabbed the door and shook it back and forth, banging it against the frame. I created quite an unnecessary and most unwelcome ruckus---said Lay-dee.

Lay-dee had a bit of a struggle gathering the terrified rugrats. They were rushing about, erratically, scared by the noise I had created. They were so new they did not have a pre-determined safe hiding space yet. My door was eventually opened and I was allowed to roam the house, rugrat free. And boy did I roam-for 10 entire minutes. I went down the stairs, looked out the front window, and then went back up the stairs. Lay-dee locked me behind Maddie's bedroom door for the rest of the night and let the rugrats, again, have free reign of the house. I made sure to bang the bedroom door every hour or so. I wanted to remind Lay-dee that if those rugrats weren't there we would both be having a much, much better night.

I was supposed to visit Lay-dee again the following weekend when Maddie went to New Mexico. I was pleasantly surprised when, instead, my favorite friend Karin came to visit me every day. I didn't go to Lay-dee's house at all! And this past weekend, Maddie stayed home the entire weekend and cuddled with me. I am pretty confident that at this point I could get anything I wanted to. It just requires a little door banging.

Signed, Pinky Ruth, victorious

#andmaybealittlevindictive #Ideservetheentirehousetoroam #Iputinmytime #PR-1 Rugrats-0

Pinky Ruth #98

I smelled the lack of discipline the moment Maddie carried me into Lay-dee's house. It reeked of careless abandon and unbridled joy. It was clear that the unruly rugrats had arrived.

I was left with 2 bowls of food, 2 bowls of water, fresh litter, all of my favorite toys, my softy bed and my scratcher box. Lay-dee had provided me with her usual closet fort options, a few hidey hole choices, some basic window perch provisions and my Bob the Builder blanket. But yet, the door was shut. I was imprisoned.

Maddie was long gone when Lay-dee remembered to check in on me. The minute she slowly opened the door, tiny Rugrat #1 rushed up the stairs to the gap in the doorway. This tiny menace was intent on killing me. (I was sure!) This Rugrat was clearly unaware of my well earned dominant rule of Lay-dee's hooligan free house. Lay-dee grabbed Rugrat#1 just in time as she attempted to leap through the doorway gap. I unleashed a hiss truly worthy of the Pinky Ruth, the current ruler of Lay-dee's house.

And yet, I was challenged. That tiny Rugrat #1 raised her fur in to a very small, laughable, ridge on her back. She puffed up her tiny tail into the largest bottle brush threat she could ever dream of. She raised up a few inches, cocked her head from side to side and uttered a quiet hiss. And then she growled. A tiny grrrrr.....a tiny hmmmmph..the tiniest mewww threat.

I actually paused for a laugh. And then I charged hard toward the door. I let that Rugrat #1 know what it meant to be a real cat. I left no doubt. Lay-dee, frightened, quickly shut the door.

She muttered, "Well, maybe we'll try again tomorrow."

Signed,

Pinky Ruth

#IllbereadyLaydee #lightweightrugrat #buckupbaby #Idontlikethedoorshut #myhissisbigger

Pinky Ruth #97

Both hooligans were gone the last time Maddie and I visited Lay-dee's house. Maddie, Lay-dee and Big Daddy spent their time being sad. I spent my time planning how I would enjoy all of the hooligan free space that I now ruled over. It was all mine.

Maddie and I were at home a few days later when they grabbed me and told me it was time to have a video chat with Lay-dee. I found myself face to face with two wiggly-clearly undisciplined-tiny little rugrat kittens.

Maddie said, "Aren't they cute Pinky Ruth? You'll get to spend time with them soon when I go on my camping trip and when I go on my trip to New Mexico."

I found this news most upsetting. I am so distraught at the possiblility of being at Lay-dee's house with those unruly rugrats, that I have begun my own protest. I now refuse to sleep on the cozy blankets in Maddie's closet. Instead, I now sleep on their pants. I leave my hair everywhere, on all the clothes.

Maddie has told me that today is International Cat Day. Today should be a day of celebration and pampering for me. Instead, I am forced to realize that while the elderly hooligans are gone, the unruly rugrats have arrived. My short lived domination over Lay-dee's house may have ended. And on top of this disturbing news, Maddie is going to leave me there to suffer and navigate this unwelcome fate on my own.

For these reasons, I will continue to sleep on the pants.

Signed, Pinky Ruth, most concerned

#shortestruleever #itstoosoonLaydee #theycantevensitstill #Irefusetobetheirmother

Pinky Ruth #96

I had spent a lovely day eating plastic, throwing up plastic and chasing a frozen pea across the floor for 9 minutes. But I experienced true shock when Maddie told me the news.

Maddie informed that Lay-dee has been taking advantage of me. Apparently, I have a presence on the internet that I was previously unaware of. And now, I am told, Lay-dee has taken it upon herself to archive my previous writings, thoughts and experiences. This is yet another reason why she will never be my favorite. A refined lady, such as myself, would prefer to have a certain mystery that surrounds and follows her.

I would like to state for the record that I am greviously disturbed that my most private and vulnerable experiences have been exposed to tens of people for "entertainment" purposes and also, appallingly, for some outlandish, unreasonable hope of personal gain for Lay-dee.

I am a strong, independent Pinky Ruth and I will not be taken advantage of.

I have contacted my lawyers.

Signed, Pinky Ruth, disturbed

#lookingforsponsors #Ispeaktwolanguages #myleftsideisbest #Imgonnabeastar

(I have finally finished putting all of the Pinky Ruth posts onto my blog. If you want to read them all, they can be reached at www.slightlyexaggerated.com The first post was on July 30, 2021. Eventually,  PR will have her own space.)

Pinky Ruth #95

Maddie and I stayed at Lay-dee’s house for 5 days. I watched the kids and the crows from the front window, chewed on a bit of plastic Lay-dee did not hide well, and saw scary Mr. Naked out Lay-dee’s back window.

One uninvited hooligan, Max, even snuck into my room for a visit. I glared and half-heartedly growled at him from my softy window perch. Maddie made him leave.

I also saw the other hooligan, Stanley, when I went to steal his food. He stared blankly at me. He wobbled when he walked. Maddie had to lift him onto Lay-dee and Big Daddy’s bed. And then Maddie and Lay-dee took turns petting him. No one paid any attention to me. I didn’t even care about stealing the hooligan food anymore. I took one last look at the hooligan on the bed. Something wasn’t right and I didn't like it. I went and hid in the closet.

The next day he was gone. I looked for him on the bed. I looked in every room. I even looked downstairs. I’ve never seen Maddie, Lay-dee and Big Daddy look so sad. I didn’t like the crying. I went and hid under the bed for a day.

Maddie took this picture on the day I met the Stanley hooligan. I was never happy about the hooligans trying to be my friend. But now, my visits to Lay-dee’s house just won’t be the same without that little black cat, Stanley.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#hooligangone #RIPStan #Idontlikesadpeople

Pinky Ruth #94

I am sitting on the most comfortable, softy blanket, 2nd floor, suburban window perch that Lay-dee has ever created for me. She would like me to show my appreciation in a positive way.

Instead, I glared at her. I ate the treats she offered me and then hissed a few times until she went away. Lay-dee then called me a big poop. This is yet another reason why she will never be my favorite.

Thankfully, Maddie is here with me and this is not another Pinky Ruth "abandoned in the suburbs" story. Maddie has, however, been spending a lot of time with one of the elderly hooligans. Maddie says the hooligan might be dying.

I find myself saddened that the hooligan is no longer a healthy and equal adversary. Maddie gives good pets and always makes me feel better.

For now, the hooligan needs those Maddie pets more than I do.

Signed, Pinky Ruth

#holidayweekend #backofflaydee #Ionlylikeyourblankets #hooligandown