Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Almost Vegetarian

I took the lid off of the crockpot and stirred the fabulous masterpiece that we would eat for dinner. The smell that wafted throughout the house was amazing. I took a fork out of the silverware drawer and snuck a bite. I was congratulating the crock pot on doing fine, fine job with dinner when the doorbell rang for the fourth time that day.

The nice Mormon boys had come by in the morning. They wanted to do a few chores for me and have a little chat about how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I’m always tempted to hand those nice boys the husband’s honey do list and tell them to have at it. Later on that morning, the UPS man ding dong ditched a box of car parts for the husband. In the afternoon, the cute girl scouts came by and convinced me that a few boxes of the cookies they were selling wouldn’t have any effect at all on the size of my hips. Liars.

And then, just before dinner, the doorbell rang yet again. When I opened the door I was greeted by a very friendly and energetic man named Sam. Friendly Sam pointed to his special freezer truck parked in front of my house. He offered to sell me some steaks he had stored in the back of his truck. Apparently, Mr. Rodriguez on the next street over, whom Sam assumed was my closest neighborhood friend, had ordered too many steaks this week and was unable to fit them all in the extra freezer he kept in his garage. Sam was going to give me a very good deal on Mr. Rodriguez’ rejected steaks.

I informed Sam that I would not be interested in buying Mr. Rodriguez’ steaks. Sam didn't like rejection. Not surprisingly, Sam told me that he had lots of other kinds of meat he wanted to sell me…and some seafood too. I firmly told Sam that I still wouldn’t be interested in purchasing anything from him.

Friendly Sam was shocked. “But, why?” he asked. “I have very good deals and the very best quality!”

“Well,” I answered, “I only have one small freezer and it’s already full of bread and popsicles and water bottles. And also, we are almost vegetarians and don’t eat that much meat.”

That made Friendly Sam stop. He squinted his eyes and cocked his head a bit to the side. “What the heck is an almost vegetarian? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

“Well, we don’t eat meat that often. And when we do it’s usually in small amounts. We’re not really vegetarians. Just....almost vegetarians.”

And as he stood in my doorway, Sam broke out a substantial smile and then let out a hearty guffaw.

“I see, yes….I see.” he chuckled. “Well, I must say ma’am, I can smell some mighty fabulous smells coming from your kitchen right now. I can tell you that is the best smelling almost vegetarian cooking I’ve ever smelled. I’ll be going now. Thank you for your time. “

I watched Friendly Sam walk back to his freezer truck, shaking his head back and forth. Still chuckling to himself, he turned back to me and yelled, “Enjoy your dinner!”

I walked back into my house and lifted the lid on my crockpot. I grabbed the fork and reached for another bite of the 4 pounds worth of beef chuck roast that had been simmering for the last 9 hours. It was heavenly. It was good enough to turn a vegetarian into an almost vegetarian.

And as I was setting the table that evening, I began to wonder...maybe I should have asked Sam if he had any chuck roast hiding in his truck freezer.

Check This Out!

Slow Cooker Mexican Style Meat

This recipe can be used with beef, pork or even chicken. Use it for burritos, tacos or any other Mexican dish. We’ve even spooned it over rice and pasta.

1 (4lb) chuck roast
1 tsp salt
1 tsp ground black pepper
2 TBL olive oil
1 large onion chopped
1 ½ cups diced green chile pepper
1 tsp chili powder
1 tsp ground cayenne pepper
1 (5 oz) bottle hot pepper sauce
1 tsp garlic powder

1. Remove excess fat from roast and season with salt and pepper. Heat olive oil in large skillet over medium high heat. Brown meat quickly on all sides.

2. Transfer the roast to a slow cooker, and sprinkle onion, chile peppers, chili powder, cayenne pepper, hot sauce and garlic powder over meat. Add enough water to cover 1/3 of the roast. Stir it all up a bit.

3. Cover and cook on high for 6 hours. Reduce heat to low and cook for another 2 to 4 hours or until meat falls apart. Shred the meat a bit more, if desired. Always make sure there is some liquid in the bottom of the slow cooker.

NOTE: As usual, I have a hard time following a recipe. I skipped the olive oil and just used spray. I used canned chile peppers, an onion and a half, doubled the chili powder, threw in a few shakes of cumin and only used ½ a bottle of Frank’s Red Hot sauce. This amount of spice was tolerated by the boy and the teenager. We used the meat for soft tacos which were fantastic. Because we don’t eat a lot of meat, I’m not very good at cooking it. This recipe however, made me look like I knew what I was doing. When I’ve spooned the meat over rice or pasta I’ve added more water.


Anonymous said...

You are such a ding dong. There is no such thing as an almost vegetarian. YOU ARE A CARNIVORE!! It's time for you to admit it. Funny story though...that guy smelled right through you. Ha.

Anonymous said...


Holly said...

That guy really went to the wrong house... if my guy had answered the door we would have needed a new freezer. :)