Let's Start With the Good News

The news is depressing. Whether it’s news from the TV or news from your cousin, it’s always presented in a negative way. I want to be aware of the important events that happen in the world and happen to my family and friends. I don’t intend on hiding my head in the sand. But, most often there are two ways of looking at a situation. Wouldn’t it be nice if the news in life was presented in a more positive way?

From the National Enquirer--Britney Spears was seen at a Los Angeles nightclub last evening with darn near most of her clothes on.

From ESPN--No one else died when intoxicated Cardinal’s player Josh Hancock crashed his vehicle.

From the husband--Honey, I encountered 5,874 cars on my commute today and I was successful in not crashing into 5,873 of them.

From CNN--25,000 people were enrolled at Virginia Tech on April 16, 2007 and thankfully 24,967 are still alive and enrolled today.

From the sports commentator--Of the 80 pitches the pitcher threw during last night’s baseball game, almost all of them, 76, were not hit for a home run.

From the school nurse--14 out of the 15 students sitting at your son’s lunch table did not get covered by his projectile vomit.

From the oncologist--Out of the 64 different types of organs in your body, 63 of them are completely healthy and cancer free.

From Men’s Fitness magazine--Americans now have the perfect opportunity to get back into shape when they walk to the grocery store instead of filling their SUV’s with $4.00/gallon gasoline.

From the Army Times--Deployed soldiers are forming lifelong bonds of friendship with fellow troops.

From the wife--I went shopping today, dear, and you’ll be happy to know that I did not max out a single one of the credit cards I used.

From Planned Parenthood--95% of all babies conceived in the United States are never considered for abortion.

From Al Gore--Global warming will NOT destroy earth in the next decade.

From the child--I absolutely love 4 out of the 5 things on my dinner plate tonight, mom.

From the priest--There’s a pretty good chance you’re still going to heaven even if you don’t give the church as much time and money as they would like you to.

From the boss--You have an opportunity to make a lot of money this weekend and get to know your co-workers a whole lot better.

From the dentist--For the next 3 hours, no one will demand a thing from you. No one will whine at you. You will not have to multi task. We will take care of your every need. Your only job is to inhale the complimentary nitrous and drool over the gorgeous Todd English as you watch an afternoon marathon of the PBS show Food Trip with Todd English.

From the grocery store--Please select from our vast magazine selection that we’ve conveniently placed near our registers. It is our pleasure to assist you in learning all about why poor Paris Hilton is going to jail, find out exactly what date the aliens will land in New York City and guess who it is that dared to be seen in public with that nasty cellulite. Relax and we will check your groceries out in about 15 minutes when our friendly new team player Bonnie finally figures out how to change the register tape.

See? Isn’t it much nicer to receive news in this kinder, gentler, more positive way? Of course it is. I know you already feel a whole lot better.


Check This Out!
The book Fast Food Nation by Eric Schlosser and the recent to DVD movie of the same name. The book is full of appalling and disturbing facts and anecdotes about the entire fast food industry. Schlosser takes a look at everything from factory farms and slaughterhouses run by meatpacking plants to the unethical and often illegal treatment of workers in the entire “fast food chain”. Words on a page, however, can’t make an impact like many of the visuals contained in the movie. Watch it…if you can. Be horrified at the reality of what it takes to get that burger on your plate. It may not make you a vegetarian but it should absolutely make you think.