Thursday, October 5, 2017

Scrumptious, Fee

My dad's pet name for my mom was, "Fee".  I remember it being used most affectionately at the end of dinner.  My dad would  push back his chair when he was done eating the meal my mom had made for him.  He would stand up, look over toward her and announce his approval and appreciation.

"Scrumptious, Fee!" he'd call out.

She would nod and grin.

40 years later I dip my spoon into the hot, bubbly stroganoff gravy. The cats at my feet stare, focused intently on me while I blow on the liquid, willing me to drop some on the floor. When it's cool enough, I taste it.  It is fantastic.  I drop the spoon in the sink, look over toward the cats and announce my approval and appreciation for my own cooking. I announce my appreciation for my mother.  I announce for that hidden, empty spot inside me.

 "Scrumptious, Fee!" I call out.

The words echo in my head, perhaps even in the room.
I wonder if she hears me.
I wonder if, somewhere, she nods and grins.

10 years ago tomorrow my mom died.

I've written several blogs about my mom and none of them were easy to write, this one included.  After 10 years of her being gone, she deserves to finally be honored with an uplifting story, a happy memory or an amusing anecdote representative of all the good that she had in her.

I'm surprised though, that I'm having a hard time writing that positive blog, surprised at how close to the surface the tears are.

I'm surprised that occasionally, still, I will think that I should give her a call. An awful lot has happened in the last 10 years. We would have over analyzed all of it for hours and hours, I'm sure.

I miss talking to her.

We used to speak every day, you know.


I just finished my cup of tea.  It was fantastic.
I announce my appreciation for the tea.
I announce my appreciation for my mother.
I announce for that hidden, empty spot inside me.

"Scrumptious, Fee!" I call out.

I wonder if she hears me.

 My daughter is a fan of the fantastic tea and was the one who recommended I try it.
 I should message her and tell her I liked it. 

We message every day, you know.

Granny and granddaughter


Lisa Dills said...

This is my favorite of your blog posts. Thank you for sharing.

Unknown said...

Thank you for sharing this! What a treasure that note is! Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Your post illicited both a tear AND quiet smile. I believe she IS standing beside nodding and grinning as you experience moments she would enjoy too...hugs!

38sunflowers said...

Melissa, you have a powerful way with words.your writing goes to my heart and very core. I believe our bond with our mothers is never broken. Always look forward to your posts. God bless you
Hazel (Jim's wife) ☺

38sunflowers said...
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